Put Some Clothes on

brief phone conversation:

me: Ooooh so your going out with Nasty Man?
boolova: Yeah, I'm meeting him at some club around the way
me: that sounds like fun. cool. enjoy.

Wack.
So I was staying in that Friday night, and he was going out with Nasty Man. Bummer. But it didn't really matter all that much because it wasn't like he was leaving me by my lonesome to hang out with the guys - I'm in home in NYC and he's back at home 1600 miles away. I was actually more concerned about boo lova getting drunk and not recalling parts of his night! One thing that pisses me off a little boo lova - I don't mind you having a good time, but don't tell me that hours of your night are blank! It is just too shady and kind of irresponsible. What if Someone filthy little tricckkkk filled in those blank spots? and I feel like I'll end up looking like the stupid boo-loving girl. (kissing my teeth) Anyway, back to the details of his night and the people he was with.

Mr. N A S T Y man. When I say nasty, I mean nasty. So, we all know that guy that dances with you at parties and he just holds you a little too close and is grinding a way too hard. Or that guy that comes to a party in basketball shorts. Or that guy that thinks he needs to have condoms in his pocket at a professional/networking conference. Put all three of those guys together and you have this here Mr. Nasty Man. Needless to say, of course I wasn't concerned when boo-lova said he was going out with the unnamed pervert because boolova is not that sick. I mean I was a little concerned about the rump shaking that would be going on at a club... but it was whatever. I wasn't going to sweat it.

Shaking my head...
Ring. It was him (smile) I answered. Hey boo lova, how was your night? I'm excited. It's my chance to live vicariously through him. The details of the conversation were SHOCKING. So he drove to meet Mr. Nasty at this club. Boo-lova was a little excited because he hadn't been to this place before. To his surprise, it was a STRIP CLUB. Yeah, I said it. a strip club. I couldn't believe it. Apparently he didn't know it was a gentlemens' club but you know Mr. Nasty Man knew it was and Nasty Man said he goes there all the time. Ok, I can deal with the fact that he went to a strip club and saw scantily dressed dancing ladies. Ok, I'm lying- but I kept my composure. At least he was honest enough to tell me that he went there... ??? lol

So you and I both thought that was the worst part. NO. It gets worse. Once he realizes that I didn't flip about him going there, Boo-lova goes on to explain how crazy it was in there. While he chatted away I could hear the joy and excitement in his voice as if he was reliving the night. He explained what the strippers where doing in great detail!!!! UN-BE-LIEVEABLE. He said how the girls were twisting and turning and gyrating and just teasing the men in there (leaving himself out of it, I know they were all up on you too, boo-lova. Ugh I wasn't born yesterday). I just don't know what to say and I sit on my bed with the phone in my hand completely silent. Then he tells me that around 2 am, the strippers just started taking all of their clothes and just doing nasty things buck naked!!! He must have heard my jaw hit the floor. Then he said with some degree of remorse, "that was when it got real nasty. I don't think I can go back there again. That was just disgusting." I said plainly. "Yeah."

What I really wanted to say was "YEAH. You (expletive here) idiot. Why the (expletive here) would you tell me all of that?! " Maybe I have should said more. But I think he got the point. In this case, silence spoke louder than words - or I hope it did because I was really at a loss for words. I didn't even really want to talk to him anymore after that experience, but I stayed on the phone and we talked about other things. Hopefully he doesn't go to a strip club again.

Then I started thinking, Oh no, he's getting way too comfortable with me, like a good friend, and that's why he said too much. But at the end of the conversation he said "Goodnight, babe." and the following morning I was awakened with a text: "Good Morning, Beautiful."

:-D

I'm still kinda mad about the strip club though...