Mandinka Warrior

me: i just thought of "peace and blessings" and was reminded of my blackness

Victoria: hahahahaha. i feel u tho, sometimes we just have to tap into our moments of blackness

Forgive me please it has been forever since my last post! I've been meaning to but I was busy working in high-end retail, acting a fool, and engaging in reckless activities. Then back at school, pretending to be a grad student. then graduated again & moved to the lovely Mid West. but first


...Across the Atlantic Via the Middle Passage.

Quick & under-developed metaphor. can I just say: Trapped on a boat. We were of different tribes & needless to say we spoke a different tongue. tried to communicate. #fail. We were chained together & took a while before we realized we had to try to break ourselves free... As we stepped ashore, I broke the chain & I caught a glimpse that faded...

...Back to Black: Africa, Where it All Began.

Someone or something took me back. Not sure what it was, but I'm glad it took me there. to where it all began & where my mind belongs. :-) Ya'll know who it isss. booo-lova, aka as of September 2009, my man, my negro. So as it was in Roots, so has it been for me. I've been in touch with my inner Kunta Kente, my mandinka warrior. I've been reminded and rewarded with my newfound, long lost, and always ever-so-loved blackness.

So enough with the borderline crappy writing above. I wasn't an english major, but I tried OK lol. I wanted my long over due post to be enlightening and eloquent but its turning out to be UBER cliche. ehh but I'll go on anyway. The lesson I finally learned like 1.5 yrs ago: Leave that ol' dead beat man ((or that TrueBloodsucking vampire friend, bad habit, whatever youknow you should get rid of)) with the peace, chuck up the mother fucking deuce & bounce! Straight 90's music video style. Be honest with yourself because we all know seasons change. Truth be told, sometimes autumn comes before you are prepared to rake up and throw out the dead leaves. (Don't be a bag lady. Erykah told me it'll hurt your back, carryin all them bags like that). But once you realize all this, then of course,Bless yourself with freedom to do whatever you want, with whomever you want & be happy. Tap into that Mandinka warrior woman... lol. mandinka.... lol Just go watch Roots, its good.

Don't talk to strangers.

It's been a little while...

1 dollar holla: stupid line that a man uses to get a lady's attention.

So over the past 2 weeks, I have had a number of interesting encounters with men on the street. None of them worthy of my attention. some of the lines were:

"Have we met before?!"
"Those shoes must hurt, can I massage your feet?"
"You have such a pretty smile. Can I talk to you for a minute?"
"I like your style. What yo name is?"

Then you have those guys that look at you as you walk by, and you feel as if they are going to eat you alive! Staring you down mad hard. Ugh. These guys make me feel so uncomfortable, borderline sexual harassment!

I guess I'm flattered by all this, but I kinda don't like it. Maybe it's because the right person hasn't stopped me yet... Where is the swag? Where is the chivalry? You look like you have no job. All of these men were either weak or just tasteless. Make it stop, Please!


On a mission.
Last week, I was up and down in Flatiron, a part of Manhattan, collecting job applications from different stores. I need a summer job! Needless to say, I heard those 1-dollar hollas as I walked from block to block. (of course only from black men, what is the deal with that?) Then as I walking past some eyeglass shop, I see the security guard looking at me shockingly, as if he knew me. So I waved, then stopped, then went closer to the door. He opens the door. I said, "Do I know you from somewhere?" he replies, "No, but you have a pretty smile."

Now I, thinking Damn, he got me. I was tricked! I stopped and he told me I had a nice smile so I have to be nice. womp. But then I got a second look at him and he really wasn't all that bad looking, so I continued to roll with it. "I saw you walking all around this place, how old are you?" OK. this man is cute but clearly has NO game. Never ask a woman how old she is, even if she looks as if she's in her 20's... what a weird way to start a conversation. Plus it's stalkerish to be watching someone for that long. I was walking around there for like 2 hours. Long story short, he was so pathetic that I left him w. my cell number, and left Flatiron with no job. lol. at least his mission was accomplished :-/


Pathetic.
So I thought the rule of thumb was when you get a woman's number, you don't call/text her the same day! The only reason I gave him my number was because he had Cute Points. Other than his looks, he was a complete failure at the game of cat & mouse (aka man pursuing woman). He texted me way too many times that day and he even called me twice! Then texted me asking if he could call me and when can we hang out. I ignored all of it.

Then he texted me today, a week later, "Hi, What's up stranger? U got a job?" I felt like saying "didn't your parents teach you not to talk to strangers?" Because my parents did. lol For this reason, in addition to his loserlike behavior and because I am salty that I still have a no job, I will continue to ignore this man.

Put Some Clothes on

brief phone conversation:

me: Ooooh so your going out with Nasty Man?
boolova: Yeah, I'm meeting him at some club around the way
me: that sounds like fun. cool. enjoy.

Wack.
So I was staying in that Friday night, and he was going out with Nasty Man. Bummer. But it didn't really matter all that much because it wasn't like he was leaving me by my lonesome to hang out with the guys - I'm in home in NYC and he's back at home 1600 miles away. I was actually more concerned about boo lova getting drunk and not recalling parts of his night! One thing that pisses me off a little boo lova - I don't mind you having a good time, but don't tell me that hours of your night are blank! It is just too shady and kind of irresponsible. What if Someone filthy little tricckkkk filled in those blank spots? and I feel like I'll end up looking like the stupid boo-loving girl. (kissing my teeth) Anyway, back to the details of his night and the people he was with.

Mr. N A S T Y man. When I say nasty, I mean nasty. So, we all know that guy that dances with you at parties and he just holds you a little too close and is grinding a way too hard. Or that guy that comes to a party in basketball shorts. Or that guy that thinks he needs to have condoms in his pocket at a professional/networking conference. Put all three of those guys together and you have this here Mr. Nasty Man. Needless to say, of course I wasn't concerned when boo-lova said he was going out with the unnamed pervert because boolova is not that sick. I mean I was a little concerned about the rump shaking that would be going on at a club... but it was whatever. I wasn't going to sweat it.

Shaking my head...
Ring. It was him (smile) I answered. Hey boo lova, how was your night? I'm excited. It's my chance to live vicariously through him. The details of the conversation were SHOCKING. So he drove to meet Mr. Nasty at this club. Boo-lova was a little excited because he hadn't been to this place before. To his surprise, it was a STRIP CLUB. Yeah, I said it. a strip club. I couldn't believe it. Apparently he didn't know it was a gentlemens' club but you know Mr. Nasty Man knew it was and Nasty Man said he goes there all the time. Ok, I can deal with the fact that he went to a strip club and saw scantily dressed dancing ladies. Ok, I'm lying- but I kept my composure. At least he was honest enough to tell me that he went there... ??? lol

So you and I both thought that was the worst part. NO. It gets worse. Once he realizes that I didn't flip about him going there, Boo-lova goes on to explain how crazy it was in there. While he chatted away I could hear the joy and excitement in his voice as if he was reliving the night. He explained what the strippers where doing in great detail!!!! UN-BE-LIEVEABLE. He said how the girls were twisting and turning and gyrating and just teasing the men in there (leaving himself out of it, I know they were all up on you too, boo-lova. Ugh I wasn't born yesterday). I just don't know what to say and I sit on my bed with the phone in my hand completely silent. Then he tells me that around 2 am, the strippers just started taking all of their clothes and just doing nasty things buck naked!!! He must have heard my jaw hit the floor. Then he said with some degree of remorse, "that was when it got real nasty. I don't think I can go back there again. That was just disgusting." I said plainly. "Yeah."

What I really wanted to say was "YEAH. You (expletive here) idiot. Why the (expletive here) would you tell me all of that?! " Maybe I have should said more. But I think he got the point. In this case, silence spoke louder than words - or I hope it did because I was really at a loss for words. I didn't even really want to talk to him anymore after that experience, but I stayed on the phone and we talked about other things. Hopefully he doesn't go to a strip club again.

Then I started thinking, Oh no, he's getting way too comfortable with me, like a good friend, and that's why he said too much. But at the end of the conversation he said "Goodnight, babe." and the following morning I was awakened with a text: "Good Morning, Beautiful."

:-D

I'm still kinda mad about the strip club though...

Grease?

Which female grease character are you?

RIZZO

A rebel at heart, you are the leader of the Pink Ladies, Rizzo. You are outgoing, sarcastic, tough, and fit right in with the guys. You have unconventional good looks and will always speak your mind. Sometimes you find yourself in a trouble, but always find a way to come out on top.


So once again I found myself on facebook instead of sleeping. I took my first quiz! Ehh at first I was a little disappointed that I turned out to be Rizzo but then I realized how badass she is. and although I am not openly a conventional rebel (ah the paradox there) - I am indeed a 21st century renaissance badass bachelorette.

Example 1.

A few days ago, I got another unwanted text message from the unnamed and infamous Dude from my previous post. UGH give me a break man! The text exchange was as follows:

Dude: Dinner and a movie??
me: Nah mannnn.
Dude: ok. that's what d.p. dough is for (a calzone delivery place)


awww He'll be spending his evening alone. LOL Shut Downnnnnn!

= badass

Example 2.

tragedy bootycall: man or woman you are bootycalling. you want it to be more but it only ends up in a tragedy. ie; they mess around with someone else, your car gets keyed, you get burned, etc...

The past week in Ithaca, bored to death, I found myself hanging out with an Old Friend, his "girl" (or what I like to call the next tragedy bootycall), and a couple of his homies - all of which I don't mind chilling with. One night we decide to pregame before going to a lame local club/bar. We get there all tipsy and Old Friend is just acting like an old fool. To rescue myself from the awful time I was having watching Old Friend, I head over to the bar only to find him following behind me. Then I feel two arms around me. What the hell is he doing?! So I say "Old Friend, what are you doing?! get off me." because 1. I'm not trying to start any trouble with the tragedy bootycall, and 2. no man is just gonna roll up on me like that and ruin my bachelorette game for the rest of the evening with a stupid public gesture...

Now I must give a preface to his upcoming reply.

My Boo-lova is a dark chocolate brotha (yumm). And one evening when I asked Old Friend about the tragedy bootycall and he was getting all bent out of shape because he thought I was asking for my own personal reasons (as if I would like him!? funny.) and I told him not to worry because I'm not interested. I like the darkskinned type.

... He replied "I'm not even touching you, I know your not into lightskinned [abolish the N word here]" and I said " You are right. I like a beautiful darkskinned guy. now get the hell off me." He left.

= a little badass.

These two examples may not be the greatest definition of badass but there is a lesson to learn here: Do not let some guy - who may or may not be your friend - just roll up on you and make you uncomfortable. In such situations, leave the players' game behind and Be clear about your intentions and your feelings. I kinda would have liked to see that Disney movie UP for free and it was flattering to have a man put his arms around me with his lady nearby. Sometimes you've got to say N. O. to the dinner and movie and say no to someone invading your physical and/or mental space. Old Friend must have thought he was being slick that night. Wrong. After a misleading day at the museum Dude thought he could take it to the next step. Wrong.

These men have it all mixed up! A bachelorette never lets a situation get out of her control. She knows when to quit being nice and get a little sassy.

Good Morning Diana Williams

Victoria: how's ur boo lova?

me: he's cool

Victoria: how's the keeping in touch?

me: texting and calling, good... maybe too good

Victoria: how can it be too good? lol

me: lol, he asked me why my facebook says "single"

Victoria: HAHA! and u said what?

me: i was like wow i never thought of it and that i thought i was single

Victoria: owwww diana! how much did he cry?

me: he didnt cry, i honestly didnt think of it

Victoria: so are u not single now?

me: im like half way single

So that is an excerpt from my most recent g-chat with my old roommate (or should I say apartment-mate?). She's Victoria, and I am Diana Williams of course. We just graduated from Cornell University last weekend. Victoria is back at home- me and our other roommate, Kimberly, are still in Ithaca, NY (the dreadful place where we have spent 4 years of our post high school lives) because we are looking for housing for next year. (grad school)

boo-lova: the man you are talking to - be it for sex, money, fun.. etc - but you like him and you are pretty sure he likes you too.

Ughhh Stupid Men.
This morning/afternoon I was awakened with a phone call from the Dude of the Day. He wanted to go to the gorges (these waterfalls that are all over Ithaca, very pretty and relaxing, fun or romantic depending on who you go with and when). I was briefly psyched about going so I asked who else was going - blank - no one else was going. My thoughts: Ewww, I am not interested in you. I thought when you drove boo-lova and I home at 4 am (coming from a party) that you would realize that I'm totally getting it in with boo-lova - not YOU! Some guys just don't seem to get it.

getting it in: the act of getting "it". "it" is one or more of those things you wouldn't want your dad seeing you do with man or woman (whatever floats your boat I guess) Those things being sexual...

Ughh Stupid Diana.
So I tell Dude that we should go another day when it is warmer and more people can come. I'm pretty hungry whenever I wake up, so I suggest just grabbing a bite for lunch instead. BAD IDEA. He says " I always eat lunch, I wanna do something eventful.... (insert blah blah here) ...like go to the johnson museum." He then senses my hesitation and says " Oh tell Kim to come too." Why am I a glutton for museums?? I swear I was tricked! Next thing you know, I say OK and I'm getting ready to go the museum with this guy I do not like. THEN WORSE - Kim says she ISNT GOING! LOL. Why me!?

Honestly...
This episode ended a lot better than I thought it would, because Kim did come with me to the museum after a little bit of guilt tripping. But on the real tip. The main reason I was so hesitant to hang out with Dude was not because I don't like Dude or because I have a boo-lova, But it was because I was afraid of when boo-lova calls me tonight and asks what I did today I knew he would not be happy about me hanging out with Dude esp. one on one. I actually think Dude is a cool guy (not necessarily attractive tho), and if I wasn't boo-loving, I might would have gone to the gorges with just him even though I'm not interested. Is that wrong?? Would that be leading Dude on?? I kinda don't care. lol

Ehhh... but What does it mean when an eligible bachelorette passes on hanging out with a dude for reasons pertaining to a boo-lova??? Am I getting "wifed" up?? I thought I was single!? very SCARY.

help.